The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize