we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
