so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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