What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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