I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
