thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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