so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
