your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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