if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
