i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
