apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
now i know why i became what i already was.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
