Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
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