i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
