Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
