its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
