im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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