After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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