Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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