o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
