There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
