porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
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