i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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