is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
