My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
