He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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