If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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