omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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