I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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