My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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