i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
