Well douche your snatch and let's go!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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