she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
