make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
