So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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