I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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