I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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