Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
