3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
