I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
