oh god the rape fog is back!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
