Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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