Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
