How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
