Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
