Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Quick, to the slutcave!
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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