at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I miss vodka workout Fridays
it's like heaven, but drunker
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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