This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
