Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
