i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
