So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
