can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
