i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
