very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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