Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
