Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize