i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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