I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
i think my cat just said my name.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
