i jhust puked up my retainher.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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