Nicole vs. Life
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
