We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
